Archive | May 2014

look me in the eye and tell me.

when was the last time you looked someone in the eye and told them you loved them? when was the last time you told someone to their faces that you couldn’t hang out? not online. not by text. not through a friend. face to face.

i suppose a few things have happened in the last month that have made me step into the devil’s advocate role of what technology is doing to our lives, and the current generation of people growing up with no memory of a time without cell phones, facebook, twitter, and social media. perhaps this is a real showing my age, but i’m having this conversation more and more and i think it’s important.

in a world where possibilities are now seemingly limitless, we have become so blindsided by the unlimited possibilities that we forget that our LIFE is in itself very limited. as we suddenly have access to all the latest opportunities (professionally, personally, privately, etc), we’re always waiting for something better. COMMITMENT is now a much bigger word than it was before. when was the last time you allocated a day to somebody? i mean, forget a day… how about a six hour block? is that insane? so many people now are “playing it by ear”. and sure, that’s fine, we have to be open to the world of possibilities now in our hands 24/7. but doesn’t that take away some of the FAITH and TRUST that we need to build any relationship?

now, i live in hollywood and work in a fancy pantsy hollywood nightclub. the “selfie, self absorbed, social media, pretentious, delusions of grandeur” type of culture is thrust in my face every day. i get it. i see it. all the time. so what you experience around the rest of the world is probably a diluted form of what i see… but bear with me. it’s all the same trash.

let me do bill cosby for a second and tell you a story. i’ve been dating some younger girls lately (shoot me… seriously… ) and i swear to god, the amount of time spent on their cell phones is just GOD AWFUL. here are some direct quotes.

“omg, it’s my cell phone, i’m not putting it down.”
“like i would start a conversation with a STRANGER… i just want to read my phone in peace.”
“i think it’s fine to build a relationship over texts… it feels like you know them”

i suppose it’s not so much a story, as much as by the time dinner was over on this particular date, i was ready to go home alone… happily. i just realised that i’m living in a world where future generations are forgetting how to be people. they just dont have that skill. do you remember what it was like in the 50’s when you wanted to ask a girl out on a date? you had to find out where she lived. then you had to find out what she liked. and in front of all her friends (and potentially with one or two of your buddies in tow), pull her aside and say “hey, can i borrow your friend a second, i think she’s really cute and i’d like to ask her out.”


let’s be real for a second. when was the last time you manned up and did that? girls, when was the last time someone did that for you? instead of through a text. or having someone know stuff about you because of your facebook? i get it. technology has allowed us to be more efficient with our time. we can reach and share with friends we would never have been able to keep in touch with before. i myself have benefitted hugely from technology. i’ve been keeping in touch with my best friends since before fucking msn. IM TALKING NETMEETING circa 1998 BABY!

but when we are using our phones as some kind of escape from the fear we feel from talking to people in real life… aren’t we missing something special? standing in front of someone and telling them what’s on your mind too scary? takes too much time? i mean, what’s pressing you that’s so urgent?

i had someone tell me… “you can’t just give your life to your dreams.”

If not your dreams and your goals… then what ARE you going to give them to?

sure in this day and age, we can reach more people. and we have more acquaintances. but there’s a trend lurking around where we’re commitment-phobic and flakey and its OK. we’re staring at screens instead of staring at faces. we spend more time with machines than with people.

i want to bring back some of the 50’s.



dear mckenna.

ok, let’s do it this way.

i’ve missed you. so much. and you know, i’m still hurting. of course my guard’s up.

i stole a cigarette from you when i left this morning. bad habits huh? hard to quit and all.

i don’t know what i’m doing in my career. and i’m scared… i know you are too. so… let’s fucking do this thing… and see what happens…?


this isn’t free.

i don’t get paid to audition. i don’t get paid to make headshots. i don’t get paid in acting class. i don’t get paid to research roles. i don’t get paid while looking for agents and managers.

all these things that are part of our JOB… are things that we don’t get paid for (right away at least). so sometimes it feels as though we’re doing it for free. and sometimes it feels like we’re crazy. and that’s never nice.

so when verizon contacted me about reusing spliced footage from my commercial, i was pretty stoked. they paid me a handsome amount of money that i can use for work and play for the next year. so naturally, i wanted to share the good news with mum and dad. while they were happy for me, they were quick to point out that it’s not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things. and that struck a chord with me.

this wasn’t about the AMOUNT of money. it was just that i’d gotten PAID for WORK that i’d done. i’d gotten paid because it was my JOB. not some hobby. not some pipe dream. you know?