a sleepless night. finally.
why? i’ve no clue. but for the first time since i’ve been in los angeles, i’ve not been able to sleep at all.
there’s not a lot floating around in my head (fuck me right? ha!)… it’s a little cold in here. here. right. my brand new spanking apartment. i’ve begun to make this place really feel like a home. perhaps that’s why i’m comfortable enough to stay up all night. it’s mine. i haven’t had a home in a while. it’s coming along well. save for the master bedroom needing a paint over.
i had a really productive couple of days.
pardon… my thoughts are a bit scattered. it’s 4am. i remember the years between 2002 and 2007. floating through classes at university, not caring about my grades, and having no interest in what i was doing. stay up to play video games until the sun came up. i used to watch the sun come up around 6am, and felt there was something going on. i didn’t know what. looking back, it didn’t feel like wasted time. i look back now, and think about how nice it was to just be lost for a while. floating. i spent my days with my roomie watching futurama and talking to girls online. i played cricket and practised kung fu.
i don’t know what triggered it. but being in this apartment alone for a while gave me some time to gather my thoughts, and refocus.
wait holy shit. i just made a huge discovery. earlier tonight, i just had a craving to play video games. i haven’t done that in YEARS. i wanted to stay up all night, like when i was carefree and lost.
it’s not the video games that i’ve missed (though i plan on buying an xbox for the apartment… i have a tv for the first time <hmmmm, lots of firsts coming around this three year mark>, so why not use it?)… but it’s been the alone time. i’d forgotten what it was like to recharge alone for a few days. i needed to find a balance between who i was back when i was in university, and who i’ve become now. all work, no play and no alone time sneaks up on you and eventually pisses people off.
get your fucking text out.
i hope mckenna likes her surprise. she’s pretty special.