first things first.
i’ve been distracted lately. it’s been a long time since i’d been distracted. i’m a little homesick. i’m a lot homesick actually. it’s been nearly three years since i left sydney. in fact, three years ago, i was still working at coca-cola driving around in that rav4… wondering if leaving for LA was going to be real. turns out it was.
i’m exhausted. mentally. i have to keep pushing on, but i’m starting to question whether or not i should head home for a while first. i landed here in august of 2009. and have not left. i shouldn’t compare myself to anyone else… but that’s easier said that done. everyone else has gotten to go home. recharge and what not.
if we’re going to be honest, i think i’m still adjusting to the transition that’s going to happen. athena is heading back to texas. and i’m going to miss her tremendously. i couldn’t have stayed this long without her. hope she knows. well… she does now.
my episode of castle comes on on monday night. ha… “my” episode. don’t blink, you’ll miss me. click on my imdb as always, and keep me popular. i should consider doing a FB page like everyone else has. i don’t see the value in it just yet though.
my heads a bit of a mess.
when you reach a point of no return. when you realise there’s no going back. there’s a realisation that happens. the only direction to go… is forwards. and the only thing left… is how far you’re going to go. and that’s determined by your speed. your time is limited.
if someone’s got your back. it makes going forward easier.
i think i need to take this cape off. easier to give advice than take it.
it was sydney in 2005. ross le the waiter was walking home from a late night shift. SUPERMAN RETURNS was filming in the city at nights, and in various locations around the city, people would crowd around the set in the hope of seeing a glimpse of the actors, superman, the cape, the equipment… i walked past the set and was just drawn in. and there… through the crowd, i saw these two extras. just extras. sitting, having a meal while brian gave them direction. they looked like they were having so much fun. just playing. make believe. and it was their job. i could see the expensive cameras and lights. and i could see the other actors sitting in their deck chairs with their names on it. sitting in front of those weird tv’s they have behind the scenes where the directors watch the footage from. i remember walking away after an hour just thinking how crazy it’d be to have that as your profession.
last week. ross kurt le the actor sat in his deck chair. next to nathan fillion, waiting for the cameras to roll. in front of those cameras. i was on the other side. and in the distance? i could see people crowding around the closed off part of downtown LA we had… trying to look in.
just for a day. i was a tv actor. and it’s what i’ve always wanted. and it started as a passing dream.
there was a gear shift yesterday. i’ve had auditions for icarly, awkward, and an NBC showcase… things HAVE gotten busier lately. oh, and a callback for mcdonalds tomorrow. i’d love some more of these cards to turn over my side.
i’m enjoying the up.
speaking of ross kurt le…
i’m on a spoilers page.