Archive | September 2011

Ross’ Big Gay Ohio Weekend (complete with GayMeter™)

Friday 24th September
7am {LA TIME}: fly out from LAX GayMeter™: 5/10
4pm {EST}: meet with Empire director Nick Corporon and cinematographer Collin Brazie GayMeter™: 6/10
730pm {EST}: watched feature film “the green” GayMeter™: 7/10
10pm {EST}: Dayton LGBT film festival opening party at Sidebar GayMeter™: 7.5/10

Saturday 25th September
1am {EST}: Dave Chappelle asks me how I’m doing and stumbles on through to the men’s room. GayMeter™: 1/10
3am {EST}: wake up with abdominal pains. GayMeter™: 3/10
5am {EST}: abdominal pains have turned into gut wrenching, tear inducing, leg cramping diarrhea. AWKWARDMeter™: 7/10
9am {EST}: more diarrhea AWKWARDMeter™: 8.5/10
11am {EST}: explain to hosts and friends I’m “ill” and need to rest. AWKWARDMeter™: 10/10
7pm {EST}: recover in time to view “tomboy”. GayMeter™: 7/10
9pm {EST}: watch “going down in la-la-land”  GayMeter™: 7.5/10
11pm {EST}: afterparty drinks at gay club “MJ’s cafe” complete with standard drag queens and strippers (male). GayMeter™: 8.5/10

Sunday 26th September
12pm {EST}: lunch with the Brazies and friends GayMeter™: 5/10
1pm {EST}: i sing along with Elton John’s hit “the one”  GayMeter™: 8/10
3pm {EST}: world premiere of “empire”  GayMeter™: 7.5/10
330pm {EST}: watch screening of “weekend”… complete with surprise anal sex scene and semen shot  GayMeter™: 9/10
9pm {EST}: convinced by nick corporon and collin brazie’s 16 year old sister lydia to watch glee… and enjoyed it.  GayMeter™: 10/10

Monday 27th September
530am {EST}: wake up… flight@815am… current ETA: 715am
555am {EST}: leave early to no traffic… flight@815am… current ETA: 7am
615am {EST}: mysterious traffic… flight@815am… current ETA: 730am
630am {EST}: fire trucks, ambulances, & police cars pass standstill traffic… flight@815am… current ETA: 745am
645am {EST}: pass four lane closing car accident… flight@815am… current ETA: 8am
750am {EST}: arrive at columbus airport to hear name over loud speaker as last remaining passenger. shit.
813am {EST}: make it to the gate. win.
815am {CDT}: arrive in chicago.
822am {CDT}: leave chicago o’hare airport and catch cab to white castle in des plaines on river road.
845am {CDT}: arrive at white castle and eat four sliders, an order of fries and a dr.pepper.
848am {CDT}: regret leaving the airport to go to white castle, spending 40 dollars in taxi fares in the process. StupidityMeter™: 10/10 
945am {CDT}: return to airport for flight back to LAX.
1230pm {LA TIME}: arrive back in LAX and proceed on foot to work @1800 dentist
1030pm {LA TIME} / 130am {EST}: finish work and proceed to drive home.

you read all this? wow.

booking co stars… with lesly kahn.

in the spirit of always being honest with how i feel about myself, my career, and my place in life, i decided to write this article.

i had a class with lesly kahn today which revolved around the booking of co-star roles. in the last few months, i’ve taken it upon myself to dive into the next stage of my career which is to realistically and systematically delve into the world of tv and film. it’s not really familiar territory for me.

lesly kahn is one of the most highly regarded, reputed, respected and expensive acting coaches in hollywood. she doesn’t just teach acting, she teaches you the actual applicable tools for the industry. this is something so many conservatories SAY they teach you… but never… EVER go near in the depth that every actor needs. so when i started looking at my career and wondering where to go next, i simply asked around for the BEST, and put money aside. i’ve never wanted it to be an object when going after my goal.

so i walk into class today and there’s immediately this energy in the room. i look around the room gauging the actors in the room. for some reason all i saw was working fringe TV actors. as everyone went up, they all had this calm focused energy about the readings they were doing. for a classroom, i had my nerves and heart in my throat. much like an audition. under the gun, and with seconds to show what you have.

as we went through a few of some of the scenes the instructor (Eyal Podell was the dude today… look him up) he showed us the ins and outs, things he’d learned, and things he’d played with. and it was very clear. this dude is not just superbly trained… he knows exactly how to transform it into what you need to have in that audition office, and what you need on set. i appreciated having a GENUINE working actor (not someone who worked forty years ago) tell me how to go in there and work a co-star audition…

and as we learned to make these tiny adjustments, it made a world of difference. and i can’t say it wasn’t frustrating. he had all the ingredients, and he was making soufflé. muthafucka, i have great sugar, great egg whites, and even some great lemon, strawberry, etc flavouring… but i didn’t have the souffle.

i’ve noticed two distinct schools of actor that goes around in classes. there’s the classrooms where the students talk nothing else but how brilliant day lewis was in there will be blood. they talk about their last stage performances. they brag about how their latest acting technique has changed their life. i liken this to someone who REALLY loves masturbating. sure it feels great, but what you really want isn’t helped by what you’re doing. then there’s the other group of actors, who spend their time talking about their most recent guest star audition. their most recent meeting with a director on a co-star audition. the ones that talk about the ins and outs of the industry.

having spent so much time dwelling with the former crowd, i have to say have become somewhat jaded that i had been missing out so much on this crowd that was getting their hands dirty. as i’ve gone along in my career i’ve found less and less trained actors, who are working more and more professionally. that’s where i want to be. would i toss in the training i’ve received over the last two years? holy fuck no. but it’s just been such a wake up call, having now spent a few months in the industry… in the earlier part of your career i’m inclined to think getting your hands dirty is of greater value. but who would get into this industry, THEN get training? ideally, i think that’s what i would like to have gone back and done… it goes back to that battle between training, and experience which can be paralleled in almost any field.

i won’t lie to you. i came out today sharper, stronger, and rejuvenated. but the first thing that went through my mind as i stepped out of the doors.

… can’t fucking act. but it’s always been in these times that i’ve been thrust back down to earth that i realise i’m ready for growth.

i’m ready to make the muthafucking souffle.


ps – today was another entry course to lesly kahn, next month i do her intensive… it cost a pretty penny.

masters of our universe.

we may not be transforming into he-man at every turn by the pwoer of grey skull… but we are indeed masters of our universe. the problem is, it’s difficult to be responsible for our universe. so we skint the responsibility to everyone and everything else.


we are in charge of everything that goes on in our life. i don’t believe anything is down to chance. i’ve recently been trying to take a different approach to my life. if you can fathom the following.

the actor who gets no where. headshots are never good enough. every agent is a monster. parents are never supportive. every casting director has a personal grudge with them. it’s always raining. the traffic is always atrocious. every other performer is more talented and more connected.

the girl who’s always in abusive relationships. every guy cheats on her and is an asshole. she’s never pretty enough. all the best guys are taken.

the guy who’s never happy with his job. he’s never qualified enough. it’s too hard to pack up and leave everything behind. there’s too much uncertainty. someone’s always getting promoted undeservedly ahead of him. there’s too much politics involved.

with every case, it’s never the INDIVIDUALS fault. there’s always an excuse. be it the weather, the traffic, the assholes you meet, the politics keeping you down.

instead of saying i am in charge of when i get somewhere. i am in charge of who i let in my life. i am in charge of the jobs i choose. i am in charge of who i let people treat me. we say “there’s nothing i could do”. we put ourselves in this universe where the world is against us. and there’s nothing we can do. we make ourselves powerless.

but it’s insane isn’t it? why shouldn’t we empower ourselves? why not take control? it’s scary. and it’s easier to say there’s nothing we could have done. i suppose no one wants to fail, and have to face the honesty. i could have done more.

heaven forbid we make mistakes in this life.


how the average american prepares to celebrate labour day weekend.

average joe #1: hey man, i want you to take this lead pipe…
average joe #2: yup…
average joe #1: … and slam it right across my face.
average joe #2: but joe#1, won’t it be extraordinarily difficult to find a dentist on a saturday? not only that, but it’s a labour day weekend too.
average joe #1: who gives a fuck? come on baby. right here in the front. i’ll find a dentist online. or i’ll call around. they’ll be able to help at 6am on a saturday.

this must be what’s happening. must.